Figuring Out What She Wants

Written by Jason on . No Comments

Planning on proposing and don’t know where to start?   For the most part, proposing to get engaged is a 2-step process. The first step is figuring out what to buy your future fiancée and the second is buying that stunning diamond ring without breaking the bank.  To walk you through the process in it’s entirety, we’ve masterfully crafted this engagement guide to help you out.  By the end of this guide you should have a good idea of the key factors that are important for her and for you.

Your Woman. Figuring out what she wants and needs

Girl with engagement ringWomen are complicated.  That’s part of the reason why we love them.  Sometimes they say one thing but mean something completely different.  If you and your lady have already started discussing the engagement ring and/or perhaps she’s thrown out some subtle (or not so subtle) hints on what she wants, take the time to make sure that “what she wants” is really what she wants, and needs.

Figuring out what to buy your soon-to-be financé is a simple exercise of assessing the personality traits of your girlfriend.  For fun, go ahead and put on your psychology hats on. Most girls have heard of the 4C’s of diamonds but generally only concern themselves with 1 or 2 of them – the favorites usually being “Size” and Color.  Keep in mind that “Size” obviously isn’t one of the 4 C’s but rather a common misrepresentation of Carat weight.

When it comes to “Size” and ‘Color‘, the 80/20 rule comes into effect. For 80% of women out there, size and color are the only conscious factor they take into account when it comes to understanding diamonds. Size and color are what women talk about when they gather with friends to share their excitement and show off the sparkling gemstone around their finger. Everything else goes out the window.  The other 20% are more informed on the other characteristics and traits of diamonds but because majority always wins, we’ll focus on the 80%. So, let’s get started.

Consider each of the questions below.  Each will help you make a decision as to what “size” of diamond you should be looking for (for her), and what “color”.

Questions – Describe your Girlfriend:

Would you describe your girlfriend as demanding and of higher maintenance? Or down to earth?
High maintenance being prim, proper and elegant looking all the time, likes fashioning brand names, outdoing her friends and being pampered whenever possible.
‘Down to earth’ being loving you for all the thought you put into everything, regardless if it goes astray.

Would you describe your girlfriend’s personaility as introverted?  or extroverted?
Extroverted – Your girlfriend has a large social circle, loves to chat about new things she owns and shows them off.
Introverted – quiet and more reserved and content with never being in the spotlight.

Is your girlfriend the activist type or with the masses?
The activist type being green to the core, rebels against following trends and deplores being a number in society. On the other side of the coin, someone who rolls with the world and do their small part to help without going to the extremes.

Based on what you’ve answered for the above questions, take a look at the table below.  Each question correlates to a category – each with a few helpful tips to figure out what style of ring to buy her.

Style High maintenance
Consider a larger diamond (> 1 carat) with a higher range color (D-F)
Consider a diamond with a carat weight of just under 1 with mid range color (G-I)
Easy Going
Consider a diamond that’s less than 0.5 carats
Personality Extrovert
Focus on getting the best cut you can.  A good cut will make the diamond appear larger.  Stay within the higher color range (colorless)
Focus on a mid range color and small focus on carat weight
Focus on a mid to low range color with very little focus on carat weight
Mindset Activist
Consider a synthetic Moissanite diamonds
Select a natural diamond
En Mass
Select a natural diamond


Shopping for what you want and getting the best deal

Now that you’ve figured out which factors are important for you, there are a few other things to take into account so as not to break the bank:

(1) Budget

In order not to break the bank, you need to set a budget.  The number 1 question from the male gender is “How much should I spend? 1 months salary? 3 months salary? Net or Gross?”.  There is no definitive way to address that question other than to say “Forget every association you’ve ever heard about diamonds and salary”.

Buying a diamond is purely a matter of your financial means. Any other so-called “rule of thumb” is nothing more than a hallmark holiday or well planned marketing scheme. Here’s where the help comes.  Consider what a reasonable investment is given that:

  • The money you spend on the diamond is never coming back. It’s a very very long term investment with no (financial) return [selling a diamond generally nets you a fraction of what you paid]
  • Insurance – You may choose to pay insurance on the diamond (for large valued diamonds) which is an additional cost
  • The Wedding – You still need to save up for the upcoming wedding (and wedding ring)
  • The Wedding Band – Some women do not wear their engagement ring once they are married


There is a rock out there to match every budget. It may mean shopping around or compromising on a characteristic of that stone but it is out there to be had. In the end, buy the best you can within your budget (or above you budget if you’re planning on marrying to wealth – you can always recoop the cost later)


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